.Thursday, March 12, 2009@3/12/2009 09:59:00 PM.
Im back to blogging after being pissed off by blogger for nearly 2 months i think.. i hate the fact that the auto save thing for draft dun work well all the time.. everytime when im almost done typing the post, the browser juz get cranky n closes.. n it does not juz happen once..
watever the case, i had started working as a temp.. A shipping company at Concourse, called Swire.. The sg branch got a history of about 30 over yrs, but the parent company itself has been around for 200 plus yrs.. so in a way quite a reputable company..
to think of it, im pretty lucky to be able to work in this company.. i do not hav any work experience (unless u consider working in a shop as volunteer or 2 yrs of ns) and with only A lvl cert.. i was looking for a temp job to kill time since i got abt at least 7 months before uni admission.. i was among the 1st to enter ns for my batch, so ord-ed early.. that time I was looking every where for a suitable job that could cater to my preferrence: abt 8 hrs a day, pay abt 1.2k & no working days on weekend.. but shortly after ord, the crisis started to hit the economy, so quite hard to find one gd job..
initially, i almost got into recruit express as hr recruiter, but eventually rejected for not being "chatty" enough.. den i started looking into newspaper.. wanted to try working in retail or f&b cause get to move around alot n socialise with different ppl.. however, pay very low n working hour very long.. by some chance, i found swire ad in newspaper.. tried applying, but did not receive any news after that.. it was only abt 1 month later, i received a call from them for interview.. haha, to think i was already very desperate over looking for a job.. ever since ord, i have been surviving on my own saving, pay for my own insurance n saving policies.. somemore, i called yewting in the afternoon tat day to ask he got any catch for job.. was intending to follow him for the singtel promoter interview.. glad the call came tat day..
went for interview the next day.. was almost late cause the interview was after the singtel one.. cant find the lift that reaches the company floor.. barely made it on time though.. was very surprised to see so many caucasians working in that place.. only through the interview den i knew that it was actually a big british shipping company.. had an interview which doesnt feel like one.. the interviewer, sylvia (my current boss) explained the job scope n assumed tat Im going to join the company.. pay was uber gd (1.4K, above my expected range) at 1st sylvia was expecting 2 people to turn up for interview, after cutting down the list to me n a hwa chong guy.. but the guy backed up last min, so in the end yew ting the job instead.. lucky ass.. also, the new ad i was last time in the paper was actually meant for recruiting perm staff, so somehow the company needed temp staff, n im in now
so ended up in swire now as admin related temp staff, but work we do is like what a perm staff does... we were in charge of a project, attended countless meeting with managers, conference meetings with oversea.. so i learned alot from my stay in the company.. the contract ending at end of tis month, but im going to extent to june.. impossible to finish the project within my contract term.. i dun think i will wan to leave before my work is done too.. i was very grateful to Sylvia n Percy (my other boss) for being very kind n patience toward me n yt, so dun wan to let them down.. however, the extention going to cost me to miss the special term for ntu in may.. still wondering if i could cancel the term n join the regular july intake..
gonna take a week leave too next month cause going for church's missionary trip in thailand.. going to some student centre over there to teach them languages n organise day camp.. hope everything will go on smoothly n learn alot from tis trip since its my first missionary trip.. gonna be baptised too before leaving for thailand, so next month going to be quite happening..
i love my job, my bosses, the working environment.. but recently, been feeling very tired.. the current phase of the project is going to be one of the driest part whole of the whole thing.. waged constant wars with the Zzz monsters, esp after lunch.. but still time passes quickly, n the weekend is near again (:
i have been spending alot more time with God n church related issues.. joined by the church choir, attended more of fellowship activities n even prayer nights now.. closer with the church peepz too.. probably because the christmas play in dec that bring all of us together.. in fact, im actually enjoying myself very well now n happy abt it (:
ying came n returned back to aus, same for mel (though her stay was shorter n almost non-existant to us) ya, but we understood ur difficulties, so its okay ya.. juz next time bring more goodies from europe, like BRANDED clothes for example n not juz some CHUPA CHUPS gotten from airport.. gotten to spend more time with ying since her return from auz.. thought tat it would be very weird initally since we kinda had a major disagreement months before her return.. intestingly, things still went on as per normal.. thanks for not being mad with me ya.. did crazy n stupid things as we use too.. haiz.. missed those jc times..
yes yes, this might be the countless time i mentioned, but i missed schooling.. for the gals who went on studying immed after A's, u ppl wun understand how we guys feel.. really looking forward to uni (: but damn, what with all the crazy deaths in my beloved ntu? one attempted murder n another sucide.. watever the case, im going to mech eng, hopeful not gonna to affect me alot..
hav been thinking alot for past weeks.. u dun know y but im like suddenly thinking abt my love life during jc days.. maybe the 2 yrs time in ns does hav an adverse effect.. im like constantly think of her recently, work, play n even during in my slp.. as if its stalking me.. looking back, i was juz a j2 doing my job as orientation leader n she as freshie.. we were introduced to each other through various means.. dunno why did i gave up on the relationship when it was going to well.. valentine was coming n ppl already assumed we were already together.. it was a mutual interest.. yet, somehow, the me at that time screwed it up n wanted to be single.. until now, i still couldt understand why did i made tat move.. the worse thing is tat we did not make a clean "breakup", so everything was very blury.. my time in dance was probably to get nearer to her, but ironically, when she was there, i juz cant approach her.. juz something in me tat holding back.. thought tat i could try after A's, but too weird to ask her abt it again since i let her down in the 1st place.. now she is doing well (i hope) n the least i could do is to wish her the best n pray for her..
pls dun ask me abt tis as im having a headache over tis issue.. probably because my sis got a bf, den got me thinking abt it.. kinda proud of her to be able to get a gd looking, sporty guy instead of some geek.. well, i hav no worries since she told me tat he already hav plans for the future n i believe he will treat her well.. well, he BETTER do.. (: gonna press my sis to intro him to me one day..
k, gonna slp liao.. tis post is like crap, so much on the mind, but cant pen down nicely.. heck, gonna wake up like in 5 hrs time for work.. great tat tml is FRIDAY.. going for driving lesson n meet cj n xin after tat..
.Friday, January 02, 2009@1/02/2009 01:00:00 AM.
Whao!!! A year had passed!! a new start again for me and i need to start on new year resolutions (which i had never begin before)
Resolutions for 2009:
1. to be baptised n faithful to God
2. to be truthful to myself
3. to spend more time with family, dad n sis esp
4. to mug hard for uni (once i got in)
5. to get driving licence
6. to stay as fit as i did in ns (goal getting further n further away)
7. to revamp my room (including painting if possible)
8. to master basic guitar
9. to mature more n be less retarded
10. to revamp my wardrobe
11. to continue my jap language lesson
yeah, tat roughly wad i aim to achieve tis year, hopefully not to demanding.. to move on in life as much as possible, resisting the urge to look back...
My Rule, My Way, Along With God's Will
.Tuesday, December 30, 2008@12/30/2008 09:07:00 PM.
Gosh, the year is nearly over n yet i still haven found a job.. on currently surviving based on my saving during ns.. well, though i got saving account, my account for spending is not topping up.. hav not been really getting any $$$ from my parents since ord.. so now, everything i do very very budget budget..
christmas is juz over n it was a very busy n costly one for me again.. ended up buying more presents tis yr.. some much for the cash mum gave me intended as chrismas present.. well, im fine with it anyway since christmas is the season of giving n if it is for impt friends, why not??
but christmas is more than juz any other normal holiday.. it was mean to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to tis world to save us.. sadly, the purpose of tis special was lost as time goes.. christmas day itself became commercialise by commercial companies n firms, used as a marketing tool for their own purposes.. X-mas, commonly used by them, was used to rule out "Christ" from "Christmas"..
i found out something interesting.. Jesus Christ was actually not born on 25th of December.. 25th december is juz a date to celebrate his birth.. also, the so-called 3 wise men tat went to visit baby Jesus was not entirely true.. the event of wise men visiting Jesus in stable did occur, but the exact number tat went was unknown.. it was assumed by many to be 3 because there were 3 gifts offered by the wise men to Jesus, so one each.. in addition, the wise men did not appeared to the night Jesus was borned but years later.. so, i was like "Wow" n "Orh" after hearing these.. all along i grew up in a church hearing to all the stories from the bible, there will alway be things tat i still do not know n fascinated by the endless knowlege n information the bible offers.. its only a matter of whether u choose to open ur heart to it's words..
well, i may not be a totally devoted or "holy" christian, but i decided to put in my best effort in rebuilding my relationship with God.. there no such thing as little or half faith, juz yes or no.. until now, there are still qns n doubts regarding on tis faith which might sometime hinder my relationship with God.. But, deep in my heart, I know there is tis one true God, the God tat surpasses time n space, one tat is not bounded by what is finite.. And i am glad to say tat i have no regrets in accepting Jesus Christ as my personal saviour..
so much for my "holy" post.. christmas was very happening n meaningful.. our church had a play n i was involved as a supporting actor.. though the rehearsal n practice came pretty late, along with the many screw ups even on the actual day final rehearsal, everything juz went pretty smoothly despite minor problems.. the sound n lighting, prop teams, acting crews, scene transition n mood for the actual performance, it was wonderful considering the amount full length practice we had.. fantastic (:
stayed over at 141, celebrated qi lei's birthday n christmas countdown.. everyone gathered together just like good old times.. it seemed ages we came together as a whole fellowship, esp when everyone starts to go separate ways as we grow.. sammuel became a regular, n i believed its because of the christmas play.. got closer with many other more in the church.. after all these years, no matter what, its always the church friends tat u could eventually rely on (:
gonna get baptised next yr, enter ntu early special term n start studying, obtained driving licence (ATT on 9th of Jan, n haven study yet!!!), wan to learn guitar, resume jap language lesson, n WORK TOO!!! tmr is new yr eve liao.. so farewell to another yr n look forward to another better yr ahead!!! (i hoped)
.Friday, December 05, 2008@12/05/2008 09:42:00 PM.
finally, back to blogging again.. mia for very long.. mainly due to being lazy (no wonder ppl always mentioned tat maintaining one is troublesome) alot of thoughts in my mind right now, n here to voice them down..
ORD LO!!!!!!!!!!!!
yep, i ord-ed on 10/11/2008.. good bye to ns, camps, booking in n out, soc, super short haircut, drills, turnouts, random endless route marches, tucked-in shirt, blah blah blah.. looking back, 2 these 2 yrs sure passed pretty quickly n faster than i thought.. life juz seemed so tough when u ar serving it but juz a breeze once u ar over with it.. as if a spell is cast over u and lifted on 101108.. life in ns seemed like a mirage, so real yet hazy...
yes, i complained many many times over n over againto many ppl abt ns (esp btw me n cj, yak yak yak) abt how tough n impossible to undergo tis period of "dark times" sry to anyone who hav to endure my storytelling sessions even though u ar not interested.. haha.. tis applies very well for the female counterparts out dere.. i cant hide the fact tat now whenever we guys gather together, there ar only the standard few topics we discuss : 1) outfields 2) tekan-ing sessions 3) saf rations (haha, esp combat rations) 4) guard duties 5) units 6) ocs n csms 7) and more tekan-ing sessions.. too many of the female friends could relate to our conversation n many many apologies for tat.. to think that i used to believe tat such a thing would not happen, when we hav lots of tat in camp.. but ladies, please understand us.. tis is a stage where most of us guys never endured or been through before.. so it was really an eyeopener for us.. never did we undergo such harsh trainings or discipline before (other than the naggings from our mums) it also never occur to me tat whenever we guys come together, topics on ns juz come to us naturally, even time to time we promised the girls tat we would not bring it up.. oops..
lots of events cramped within the last six months of my ns service.. n yet i used to believe my instructors tat tis period would the sweetest phase of my ns tour.. well, i do hav to say it is true to a certain extent.. its a fact that we did much lesser trainings compared to the pass one yr.. but never did we believe tat it was juz refering to outfields.. ever since our "victorious" return from atec, thailand, n completion of uc (unharmed combat), we hav been pretty busy with trainings for saf n ndp rehearsals.. will move on the ndp since the saf day have been touch on in the previous post..
what ndp left in me was a pretty hazy one.. but i could grantee for sure is tat i was one of the many proud singaporeans on tat day itself... i seriously believe not many gotten the chance to be personally involved in ndp parade section, let alone as part of both the guard of honor n best combat unit at the same time.. yes, drill trainings were difficult.. not physically, but more on the mental side tis time compared to saf day since we do not need to stay in the parade as long.. yet i wouldt dare say tat ndp will be any easier anyway.. probably due to the fact tat ndp is being catered n broadcasted to a much larger viewers compared to saf day itself.. in addition, ndp been broacasted worldwide, with the world watching at us.. yes, every single one of us to be exact.. well, trainings were twice a weeks, without excluding saf day ones too before saf day over.. though many hours spent coming together for training, the only actual time spent for drills was very little.. parade was only part of the national day celebration, not including performances n shows.. so most of the time were spent waiting n waiting.. n u know, tis was the most sinful part of the whole ndp thing.. imagine urself with nothing much to do, sitting around with ur fellow mates (whom u get to see almost everyday of ur life, tat time) n tons of kids from various uniform groups screaming endless cheers (main culprits were gb n girl's guides) wad make thing worse when u ar in this situation, is tat u hav many food sponsors supplying free snacks n bites for grabbing.. i could not remember how many countless time where i promised tat i would not take another share after im done with mine, to be appeared q-ing up in the line waiting for another round.. damn.. old chang kee, milo, mr bean, pizza's hut, kfc, etc.. damn..
still, i hav to give compliments to many various groups involved in ndp for making it such a success.. ndu, for challenging us to see which marching contingent is a better one.. the logistic part (who ever u ar) for managing such a large scale project n ppl.. be it food, transport, holding ground etc, u guys ar awesome (esp in handling the public, kids included) n i hav to admit, it almost equally as shag as our outfield training.. the black knights, for stealing the limelight of the show.. was wonderful, with high risk moves.. the red lions, for bringing back memories of our airborne jumps, when these jumpers were used to be our instructors.. n finally *drum roll* the irritating uniform grps sitting directly opposite us in the holding area for their wonderful n seemly endless cheers.. without u, the holding area will be juz too peaceful for us to handle.. haha, talking abt uniform grp, there is one particular uniform grp i wan to sympatise, which is the scouts.. it seemed tat the more senior boys will get to wear red bert compared to the green one (if i remember correctly) of the junior boys.. sadly, these seniors juz always ended up becoming our mockery with the berets.. sorry, but i believe u didt not walk ur ass off to get tat (: wad really caught us laughing is tat even the security guards of the suntec wore red berets.. well, no problem with soc (special operation command ) elite police unit wearing tat.. but hello?? SECURITY GUARD as well?? well.. u might say that we ar boastful or so, but please, it took us such a hard time to obtain the right to put that piece of red wool head-dress on head.. where scout boys n mr security could juz obtained them without much challenge.. would u even understand the value, the blood n soul, the pride we put into the red beret n don it on our head after 9 months of harsh trainings and it doesnt end with tat..
on the actual ndp day itself, i would die tat i almost got wiped off the surface of the earth.. my no 1 kept giving me problem.. the collar badge keeping dropping, juz cant seemed to be tapped down.. shoulder emblem nearly dropped off as it was not sercure properly.. n worse still, nearly MISFIRE due to rounds stuck in chamber.. OH MY GOSH.. i nearly ko-ed tat moment when i heard tat "tak" sound during the second round of joy of fire (cant remember the spelling of the orginal name, foo de joie if im not wrong, french i think) lots of things went through my mind: did my collar badge drop? my shoulder emblem still on my shoulder?? will i hook off the front guy's beret like i did few training rehearsals ago??? should i fire the next round???? why am i even here????? ha, my mind juz ran amok.. well, i calmed down.. the command for the next drill was given.. hormat.. damn, rifle raised to the shoulder.. should i fire?? will it go off?? den i did one of the craziest thing ever.. well, it not like i didt do much before in life, juz tat army made it a routine.. i slowly raised my left thumb from the pistol grip to the safety button n tried to put to safe.. damn it juz wun go in, caused the round was stucked, plus i cocked the rifle again when the cocking of rifle command was given.. meaning double feeding!!?? now two rounds in the chamber.. i remember tat alvan was laughing from my back.. obviously he saw the whole thign.. hell, how could such thing even happen at such a time.. if i misfired, not only the whole public will focus on me, mr president n the whole parliment will get to know who is corporal 1st class lee zhao qi tat day..well, i didt not hav the honor tat day..
after ndp was the 21km ahm.. the very 1st time i ran tat far in a single attempt.. well, marching was long over that mark, but running 21km was my very 1st attempt..pretty challenging, esp when im not a long distance runner.. blamed it on the many tranings tat the battalion gave, i managed to finish it without much problem and after effect days after.. running 21km was a whole new experience compared to marching.. likewise, u hav to keep talk to urself to keep urself moving.. but as for running, i realised there is really no such thing as pacer.. different ppl run at different pace.. once u run at a pace tat not within ur comfortable range, u ar actually not maximising ur running capacity n energy.. so, all those kind pacers out there, thank you for being such a nice guy for making the effort the push the weaker ones on n cheering for them even though they rarely registered in their minds during their runs..
we had one day rest after the ahm to the begin of our next n last training phase.. details could not be released due to military secrets but after the local traning phase was the the foreign training phase at thailand.. was so hoping tat it would be cancelled due to the instability of thailand.. who would wan to go outfield after weeks of lying down on bed in bunk waiting for ur meals n book out daily.. nevertheless, got through the horrible part of the phase, n soon found tat i was in the middle of R&R n again on the plane back to singapore..
and next, the preparation for ord parade!!!! after we returned from thailand, we go less than one week to prep for ord parade.. time was tight, but fun n enjoyable.. laugher was everywhere, except when rsm appeared.. the officers and men came one for tis occasion as we embarked the very last phase of our ns tour.. finally when 241008 came, n we donned on the no 1 attire smartly for the one last time and realised tat after the parade we were free men juz like two years ago.. the whole family came down.. it was very nice of xin too to come down n attend the parade.. the cermonial day juz ended as quickly as it began..
one week later, we gathered together again for the company's ord dinner organised by lester.. nearly everyone brought their dates except the few miserable us tat did not managed or bothered to find one.. dinner was light hearted n brought back warm memories n feelings.. juz when oc closed his speech on his personal experiences with the company during his tour did we realiseed tat everything was nearly over.. many photos were taken n hugs exchanged and even though not much words were expressed after tat, everyone seemed to under how each of us feel in the heart..
hey, but it still not over yet.. ord date itself was on 101108.. so we gathered together in camp one last time in no 4 as nsf to collect the very thing tat we hav been waiting for: the pink ic.. u know, after all these time u hav been yearning for this little card ever since u hand over to the military on enlistment date got into ur hand once again, u realised tat the past 2 yrs tat it was not the ic tat u truely wan, but the life of a freed man u hav lived before.. not tat army has tied us down from freedom n rights, but shaped us to be appreciative of what we hav in time of peace.. ns trained us not to take things for granted, n in these case the peace of our beloved nation.. nothing is free in the world.. everything comes with a price, n tat applies for our freedom to be called a singaporean.. recent mumbai incident once again proved ta this so called peace that we boldly took for granted could be easily be taken from us in a blink of eye, be it u like it or not.. n it is granteed tat it will not be a pleasant experience, as we learned from past occupation n the fall of singapore's 1st victim to terrorism.. complacency will not n shall not be tolerated for such an incident to happen in singapore n i believed tat singapore would not be the same if it did.. juz like how we wished to return to the same life as we used to live before entering ns, singapore is taking her peace n stablility for granted by assuming tat we ar immuned to such attacks or economic crisises.. i believed my biggest lesson tat the ns had given to me is to live a whole new life, an improved one, as compared to the past in this ever-changing world tat constantly demanding us move forward.. n of course, ns in my case, has acheived its purpose..
tis post could only express a small part of wad im feeling or undergo tis past 2 yrs as a soldier.. as i stepped out of the camp tat day with a pink ic in my hand, i could not help but to think tat will i be ready to face a reality world tat is not as merciful as the army's harsh training.. few of us left with a heavy heart, while the rest, oblivious to the fact tat some of us might not get to meet again in future even though there are opportunities to come together for reservices, gloating abt the pink ic on the phone to friends tat are still in service.. yew ting chatted with me, n shared tat why was he feeling empty on the day itself instead of being excited n cheerful.. n we come to a common agreement tat we used to believe tat after we will still get to see each other after every book out, den to ord parade n dinner n finally ord date itself.. never did we expect tat the sudden emptiness on the ord day itself was so overwhelming.. yes, often we promised tat we will still continue to meet up despite how long hav pass.. however, looking back at my past, my pri n sec friends (n in fact, some of my jc friends which i knew so recent ago) seldom or never contacted one another again after graduation proved how ironic the promises could get..
until now, i still could not accept the fact tat im officially ord-ed.. i could not discribe the mixed feeling tat im going through now.. sort of a sweet yet bitter feeling though.. probably because the schedule had been very tight, esp the last half yr, tat time passes exceptional fast.. as if it was over in a blink of eye.. still, this chapter of life will always be a part of my heart, a name when i was once called zq lee
moving on, and never look back.. no time for self-pity for the world waits for no one