I've found a friend who died for me

another week has passed.. getting closer to A lvl liao.. the thoughts of A lvl is juz abt 6 months away give me creepz.. the common test further worries me.. going bonky liao.. forgot wad i learnt after common test.. mayb tis is the trend in me to forget everyting after exam period..

meet parent session is veri dumb lor.. juz another chance for my mum to nag at me.. i hate it when my parents or teachers noe nothing abt wad i do in sch and go around blabering abt how should i manage my time.. hey, i am mugging in sch lor.. (though i seem to slack alot at home) everytime my parents only see the lazi or playful side of me .. never did they noe tat life in sch was hell la.. hav to manage studies, duties and relationships.. ARGHH.. juz complicated la..

i noe my attitude during meet parent session was veri bad.. even my classmates waiting at the back sae that i was like veri mean.. i noe i noe.. but it juz pissed me off to sit btw my ct and mum n listen to their conversation on how much i didt study.. im disappointed in zhaoqi's performance, disappointed in this, disappointed in tat.. heck la..

hmm.. tml is the 1st dae of the 1st gradnite money collection cum registration.. table should be more likely finalise.. sitting wif hi-5, shuang, garerern, songhoe, zhisen, yingpeng.. quite a nice combi.. kinda looking forward to gradnite though.. didt hav gradnite during sec sch.. super cheapo.. headache.. dunno wad to wear.. standard attire or someting unique?? tough qn to ponder on.. err.. A lvl haven over.. tink too much liao..

sooo many hw to do, so little time.. so much for the teach less, learn more policy.. y cant they cum up wif the teach less, play more policy?? my mind is always tinking abt someting.. cant rest.. never feel so intense b4.. going to explode soon.. hope the singapore armed force dun get me for terrorism..

tink tat interacting more is the wae to ease myself.. i hav been too uptight recently.. hav to destress ya.. nafa cuming too.. having intensive trainning for myself.. trying to do some chin up daily.. quite surprised tat i could do 5 now (wif proper rest) hope tat get at least a silver so dun need to go NS early.. hmmm... actuali go in early olso nevermind.. juz go camp and play ma.. take rifle and bag.. run around shooting at dummies.. n yummie ration.. haiz.. typical boys..

tink dere is going to be a council elects camp during june holiday.. heard might be 3 daes 2 nites.. quite long.. of coz, wun be as gd as ogl camp.. veri little ppl sign up for the student leadership ting.. all thx to the hse exco ting.. hopefully the applicants are not nerdy.. if not can go jump liao.. i cant seem to communicate wif nerds.. they make me go crazi.. wad ever the case, hope tat the new council is gona be gd

so long never hav proper excercise liao.. since after common test.. hav been eating alot.. haiz.. jc life = eat + study ... there juz no time to play bball or so.. still remb last yr got so much time for bball, netball, volleyball, and crap time.. time is catching up wif me liao.. aging liao.. all i could do now is to run only.. and on tracks.. where u go round and round.. is tat same for life?? after some much been done, u still back to the starting point..

wa... i sound as if i was undergoing serious depression lor.. hav been abusing wad i learn from the last fri depression tolk.. hmmm.. "if i wan to die, would u wan to join me??" wad a hard qn to answer.. for unknown reason, im hav been trying to be cheerful n chatty recently.. yar, all i got was "hey zhaoqi, u ok?? why ar u so cheerful?? dun tell me u hav decide to sucide??" yar rite.. so much for smiling.. ohh.. im still tryin to learn how to smile.. i not a gd smiler.. need practice.. if not look veri spastic in photos.. btw, i was slping throughout the depression tolk

... 30mins had past n i cant believe i typed so much.. hmm..tink of it.. 30mins of blogging has many opportunity costs.. eating, mugging, slp, play game, watch da chang jing.. so much to choose from.. wadever la.. wanna go slp liao.. slp is important to me.. how my mood will be for tml depend heavily on my slp.. tis fri is gd friday.. public holiday huh.. haiz.. public holiday=more hw=more stress=depression= sucide? .. nah, i wun one.. so much tings i haven done.. like going to sch tml to whack songhoe and suan mel.. life is sooooooooooooo interesting.. wad a irony..