I've found a friend who died for me

As per normal, life in ns is passing fast.. probably because of training everyday.. not shack though, in fact slack.. do pt, learn new stuff daily, den take test, and its night again to rest.. weeks after weeks..

hav been booking in n out this weekend.. last fri was some major event happening at cdo ti den we ar allowed to book out in the afternoon, yet hav to book in in the nite for a one n a half lesson on sat.. den booked out again after the lesson to book in tonite, which in turn booked out again tmr nite for labour day.. which AGAIN book in on tue nite.. gosh, all these book in n out things are costing me a bomb due to transport cost.. strange.. we ns men look forward to book out over the weekends during the weekdays, yet felt lost when we got the chance to..

watched the korean movie yesterday, 200 pound beauty.. suggested by melissa n ying.. i was kinda reluctant at 1st, cos i thought most korean shows are either crappy or full of crying scenes, which i wouldt wan to pay to watch such a movie.. but after watching it, it wasnt tat bad after all.. in fact i would recommend the show.. damn, brainwashed..

the show is practically abt this 200 pund girl who is super big yet talanted in singing n kind hearted by nature..and she got a crush on the main male lead of the show.. due to some reason, she resorts to desperate measures to gain his attention or love by undergoing plastic surgery.. she got what she wans, to be pretty n slim, yet still fails to gain the male lead attention.. even worst, with her new found identity, she lost her family, friends and even herself.. to choose btw her new found fame/love or her previous identity, she struggled.. eventually, she confessed abt it yet was accepted by majority..

well, while others are either laughing out loud throughout the show or sobbing over the show, i was again in deep thought, my own world again.. reflection time again.. thought abt 3 stuffs.. the 1st one was abt plastic surgery.. if im not wrong, korea probably has the highest plastic surgery rate in the world.. will this show be trying to portray tat plastic surgery is actually ok as it is an act looked down by many?? is it ok to look gd by altering our natural look?? we are living a world tat is so pratical abt gd looks and beauty, tat we overlooked our own inner beauty.. statistic shown tat taller ppl get paid more than the shorter, those with gd looks get better job prospects than those who looked average.. the media has been trying to portray tat ugly is the new beauty, but who will ever truly embrace tat idea??? not the next decade definately for sure.. if undergoing surgery tat will help to improve ur life drastically, juz life x-treme makeover, will it justify???

next, tis movie somehow reminded me abt my own past.. obese was wad i used to be.. fat but joyous n carefree.. probably like the main female lead of the show, to eat wad i wan in the world without the fear of being fatter (since i was already fat) however, in sec sch, i had a crush on tis classmate.. to be in love without being able to express, how painful it is.. only can view her from a distance.. i didt even dare to confess a little bit of how i feel toward her, as i noe tat i would definately get rejected.. juz becoz of my size.. i suffered so much by dieting n exercising hard to slim down juz to hope tat i will be accepted.. eventually i managed to slim down, yet i still didt dared to confess to her.. the fear of being rejected is always there.. becoz i put in too much, tat y i fear of losing.. thus, i became over concerned abt my own apperance, tat one day i will become the plump self i used too.. i became insensitive, selfish, n in fact judge others by looks too.. something tat i used to loath in the past.. i lost so much juz to slim down.. like the show, my relationship with friends n family and my own identity.. luckily, i wasnt tat extreme as i used to be and tis movie served as a reminded to me not to forget my past.. not to judge by the cover on others, like i was used to.. even till now, tis fear still resides in me..

lastly, the part tat the female lead "forsake" her senile dad for her new found fame reminded me of my sad family problem.. it was so similar to my grandfather incident, where he was abandoned by both his sons, which in turn my mum n dad hav to take care of him.. suddenly, tis show touched me so much as it seems to reflect my life..

oh well, hav to book in later juz to book out tmr.. watching spiderman3 on tue.. hope it met the expectation of all..

Life as a private in ns is pretty slack for the time being.. other than the morning pt, the whole day is fairly fine.. we enjoyed alot of benefits that we dun while we were still recruits.. to think of it, the new intakes for bmt was juz recent.. yuan siao, caixiang, melvin etc went in i think.. ha.. imagine them getting shaved, juz like what i 1st went through 3 months ago.. time sure flies..

well, i cant really blog much abt ns cause i might "accidentally" reveal military secrets.. military police (mp) are all around to catch offenders.. so muz be very careful to ppl out there who have low level of awareness ya.. many of my platoonmatez tat got posted out of kommando (our slang) went to different units, like infantry, amoured infantry, rp, signal etc.. and received numerous feedback tat they regreted opting out in the 1st place.. hmmm, dunno how is it like out there, but no matter what, they hav to make full use of their time.. maybe it might not be as bad as they think?

saw john (council) on good fri while having lunch with church friendz.. went to ocs.. going to be an officer.. haha.. cool.. but gonna be tough too.. heard quite a number of pioneers going into ocs too.. wish them the best of luck..

received a call from smu yesterday when im doing sentry duty as the leaders went pasir lebar to train.. guess what??? it was from the school of business!! yeah!! said i was supposed to go down for interview on 28th of april.. but, what? i was also called by the school of infomation system (SIS) one week earlier to go interview!!! and it was on 21st of april.. (the interview was also one week earlier then the business one) gulp.. well, hav to be honest tat SIS called me earlier.. so i told the lady on the phone (from bus school one) abt it.. den she was like.. "err, oh, they called u?? hmmm.. ok, i got to check again.. will call u later.."

and i haven receive her call yet..

errr, does tis mean im losing the chance to go for the interview for school of business??? dunno.. but hopefully, they call again, cause i put business as my 1st choice n SIS 2nd.. nevertheless, im ok with either.. (contradicting huh?) watevea la.. was thinking what my dad told me.. he told me tat i should not applied for too many uni.. cause if all three of the uni i applied happen to accept, i will hav a tough time deciding where to go.. gosh..somemore, i applied different courses for differentl uni.. (engineering for NTU, business-related courses for SMU and arts and social science for NUS) problematic as im actually ok with taking either one of the three courses above!!! and what dad said was veri true.. i was already struggling btw SIS and Business for jus only smu.. damn..

weighting which uni to go, all three uni have what i wan.. smu: easily accessible (direct bus) cool, hip, n my ideal sch and fav course.. ntu: hostel lifestyle with quite a well recognise engineering degree.. ( coz my dad is working in the engineering field and is a well known man in his field, if i steer toward engineering, i can easily get into international companies through my dad = means steady future = no worries abt job) nus: oh, quite accessible somehow, but cause it is a very recognised uni in the world and hostel life too.. also social science is quite attractive to me.. u noe, socialising n stuff..

my dad will of course wish tat i will enter engineering (means ntu la) though he will still support my final decision.. this really put me in a tough spot.. cause my preferred path is a tough one (smu) the business world is veri competitve.. plus it might not definately assure you a good job.. i seen cases of ppl who graduated from business courses ended up in other field instead, like teaching etc.. so diff from what u learned in the uni.. on the other hand, engineering will allow u to not only enter engineering field, but even to business too if u wan.. (no limit imposed in business world) soooo, my theory is ... an engineer might be able to take up business related job, but the businessman definately wun be able to enter the engineering field.. get it?? no? den too bad..

melissa is probably going oversea to study.. hope she chooses the path is desires ( which i believe she will) good luck for ya interview ya.. (oh, tis mean F4 not not Hi-5 !!! ) oops..

for unknown reason, i became quite mean nowdays.. as in, im not as concerning abt others as i used to.. kinda of like in my own world thing.. not to the extent of isolation la.. think ns made me more "pratical" or maybe materialistic?? i more interested in activities tat i will gain in (self-centred?) and less as caring as i once was ( bo-chap?) geee.. seems like im going against my principles ya.. gonna do some reflection in the corner ya..

watched alot of movies since i enter ns ( ns again, everything seems to revolve around ns.. if u dun believe me, for those guys who juz enter bmt, u will suddenly realised tat singapore has actually alot of botaks serving ns when u didt even notice they existed before u enlist.. interesting huh? but true) watched the number 23.. was quite a spooky show.. imagine one whole life revolves around a number and u cant seem to escape from the vicious cycle tat ur mind put u into believing every bad things happened got to do with the number..

and again, my ns matez (again) and i came up with our "so-called number " : 7

reasons??? juz pure crap.. see, this is how we came up with it..
-our bunk got 14 ppl, and 14 is a multiple of 7..
-our bunk got 7 beds (double decker beds) and got 14 lockers, which 14 is a multiple of 7
-our bunk got 6(+1 for commando) fans (oh, commando got tis culture of doing one more than the usual sum needed, like if u are given 10 push-ups, overall muz do 11 becoz 10 and one for commando =11)
-we got 2 weeks of leaves tat we can take in a yr, which is 14 days
-we are supposed to hav 7 hrs of sleep a day to be sufficient
-our pay is 350 (recruit pay, suppose to be 650 coz we ar private, but due to some screw up) and 350 is a mulitple of 7
-there are 7 days a weeks
-we got tis sergent called murali, and he got tis fetish for giving we 7 extras guard duties if we create problems
-a dream of 7 murali, which each gave 7 extras, means total of 49 extras, which is a multiple of 7
-the leader course currently has 52 ppl (after dropping from 63) and 5 plus 2 =7

and the bullshit goes on and on.. tat what we do to keep ourselve entertained in ns.. dumb?? nah, creative

damn youtube.. heard they disallowed jap anime to be posted on youtube.. means i cant watch my naruto n bleach went i booked out.. not tat there is no other sources, but juz tat too lazy too download online.. sometimes, ns makes u lazier..

ok, blogged too much.. get back to slp... got to meet hi-5 tmr ya..

wow.. pretty long time since i last posted.. alot of things happen again..

hmmm, 1stly, BMT is over!!! no longer freaking recruit now.. a private liao.. hehe.. dun get ordered around so badly too (though still get ordered though) to think of it, i missed my BMT times with all my platoonmates.. had POP (passing out parade) and did a 24km route march with full battle equippment.. was a veri significant event as it marked our graduation from BMT.. both dad n mum were there to witness the event.. get to wear jungle hat now too.. no more jockey cap!! (:

received A-lvl results too.. it was said pj did veri well tis yr.. well, wateva the case, my grades were average.. dunno if it is a gd or bad thing.. coz i didt think i studied hard for A's as compared for O's.. but again, dragon year batch, so can expect tons of strong competition from all over singapore.. applied for all three uni, but wished to get into smu the most.. think im fine wif any uni and course though.. juz tat hav to build up interest gradually..

dunno for wad reason, im always looking forward to booking out during weekends, but when i book out, im quite lost.. guess probably everyone is occupied with their own activities.. all the girls are mostly working n the guys in ns..

ns really drives ppl nuts.. ppl in there either think of training or girls.. well, no girl for me though.. maybe tats why life is boring when i book out.. everyone seems to get abit horny too.. haha.. oh, guess im not making sense..

probably too long didt blog, so dunno what to post too.. wadevea the case, i wish to complete ns so i can enjoy uni life.. wish to go back college life again.. gee, didt treasure those times when i should hav.. oh well, life still goes on.. hav to book in tonite again n be a spartan warrior again..