I've found a friend who died for me

last sun was a veri long dae.. woke up in the morning to go sch to prepare for the dance performance in the evening.. barely remb the steps after a long break after the previous performance.. i reached sch only to realise tat we were leaving sch striaght for sentosa wifout any practice.. reached sentosa n headed for the musical fountain.. was supposed to perform dere, but rainned eventually.. had a dry run on the fountain stage.. pretty screwed up as we forgot when to cum in n numerous misunderstanding.. luckly they were cleared quickly.. in the end, we performed at the ferry terminal.. response tis time was so much better.. mayb becoz of the venue.. the floor surface at the terminal was veri rough.. ripped the skin on my palm while practising.. ouch.. went home 1st to change den rushed to mel hse.. hi-5 gathering dere for an overnite stay..had tons of fun n rubbishes.. watched world cup final together but end up laughing throughout the whole session.. slpt at 4 plus..

woke up late, abt 745am on mon morning.. everyone rushed to use the toilet n gobbled our breakfast.. sat mel's mum car to sch, but still late.. 1st time late throughout my whole study career.. met hi-5 again after sch top celebrate xin's birthday.. went to the cathay for bens n jerry.. hmmm.. still prefer hagen-das.. crossed over the street to dine at the fish n co.. had great dinner.. everyone ordered a alcoholic drink.. mine was someting-lava.. tasted like some bitter medcine.. bad pick.. felt abt high after the whole meal, probably due to the drink.. but tink cj n xin more drunk.. went home n take a shower.. slp..

last wed was investiture.. cant believe tat one yr passes so fast.. looking back, i had managed to acheive much through council.. all the friends made in orientations n events.. it helps to expand my social life.. tink of it, i cant believe tat i managed to progress so much in my characters somehow.. invest was pretty smooth to me compared to our invest last yr.. juz some audio screw up (understandable cos the ava crews ar made up of new batch of j1s.. muz be hard on nicolas for tat) many of us exchanged gifts n stuffs after tat.. managed to noe a few yjc guests during some interaction time.. everyone, esp the 6th, was veri high.. sat in concourse to play games n chat.. nite passes veri fast..

invest was supposed to b veri emotional n happy one.. but i was rather badly troubled tat dae.. received majority of the mid-yr results.. results were bad.. i hav never gotten suchill grades before in my whole life.. felt so depressed n inferior at tat moment.. put on a weary smile for the whole dae.. was actually tinking abt my grade instead of enjoying invest.. well, i guess dere no one to blame but myself.. sometimes being ur best is not enough.. esp when u ar rather in consistent in ur work.. i dunno how to face my parents, my teachers, my friends.. so ashame of myself.. no amount of words can express my shame in my whole life..

went to mr tong's hse for some hsewarming cum 6th/7th gathering.. i hav to admit tat tis bbq gathering is so much more lively n fun than last yr 5th/6th bbq.. many photos were taken, gifts given out, or even tears exchanged.. my truly proud of my sucessors.. now wat i can only hope is tat u ppl dun fumble upon the incuming waves of stress n challenges..

had a long chatting session wif mdm ong abt my grades.. i had never chatted to any teacher abt my personal life before.. felt so guility for faring badly in her sub.. seriously, i dunno wad am i going to do in both near future n future.. the idea of even making into a uni even shaken.. guess A lvl is reali not a game like the O's.. i seriously unestimate tis challenge.. no matter wad, i hav to arm n embrace myself for tis chapter of my life..

love is driving me crazy.. some words ar hard to sae.. pls, let my heart turns to stone.. so tat the unbearable pain will b gone for eternality...