I've found a friend who died for me

As per normal, life in ns is passing fast.. probably because of training everyday.. not shack though, in fact slack.. do pt, learn new stuff daily, den take test, and its night again to rest.. weeks after weeks..

hav been booking in n out this weekend.. last fri was some major event happening at cdo ti den we ar allowed to book out in the afternoon, yet hav to book in in the nite for a one n a half lesson on sat.. den booked out again after the lesson to book in tonite, which in turn booked out again tmr nite for labour day.. which AGAIN book in on tue nite.. gosh, all these book in n out things are costing me a bomb due to transport cost.. strange.. we ns men look forward to book out over the weekends during the weekdays, yet felt lost when we got the chance to..

watched the korean movie yesterday, 200 pound beauty.. suggested by melissa n ying.. i was kinda reluctant at 1st, cos i thought most korean shows are either crappy or full of crying scenes, which i wouldt wan to pay to watch such a movie.. but after watching it, it wasnt tat bad after all.. in fact i would recommend the show.. damn, brainwashed..

the show is practically abt this 200 pund girl who is super big yet talanted in singing n kind hearted by nature..and she got a crush on the main male lead of the show.. due to some reason, she resorts to desperate measures to gain his attention or love by undergoing plastic surgery.. she got what she wans, to be pretty n slim, yet still fails to gain the male lead attention.. even worst, with her new found identity, she lost her family, friends and even herself.. to choose btw her new found fame/love or her previous identity, she struggled.. eventually, she confessed abt it yet was accepted by majority..

well, while others are either laughing out loud throughout the show or sobbing over the show, i was again in deep thought, my own world again.. reflection time again.. thought abt 3 stuffs.. the 1st one was abt plastic surgery.. if im not wrong, korea probably has the highest plastic surgery rate in the world.. will this show be trying to portray tat plastic surgery is actually ok as it is an act looked down by many?? is it ok to look gd by altering our natural look?? we are living a world tat is so pratical abt gd looks and beauty, tat we overlooked our own inner beauty.. statistic shown tat taller ppl get paid more than the shorter, those with gd looks get better job prospects than those who looked average.. the media has been trying to portray tat ugly is the new beauty, but who will ever truly embrace tat idea??? not the next decade definately for sure.. if undergoing surgery tat will help to improve ur life drastically, juz life x-treme makeover, will it justify???

next, tis movie somehow reminded me abt my own past.. obese was wad i used to be.. fat but joyous n carefree.. probably like the main female lead of the show, to eat wad i wan in the world without the fear of being fatter (since i was already fat) however, in sec sch, i had a crush on tis classmate.. to be in love without being able to express, how painful it is.. only can view her from a distance.. i didt even dare to confess a little bit of how i feel toward her, as i noe tat i would definately get rejected.. juz becoz of my size.. i suffered so much by dieting n exercising hard to slim down juz to hope tat i will be accepted.. eventually i managed to slim down, yet i still didt dared to confess to her.. the fear of being rejected is always there.. becoz i put in too much, tat y i fear of losing.. thus, i became over concerned abt my own apperance, tat one day i will become the plump self i used too.. i became insensitive, selfish, n in fact judge others by looks too.. something tat i used to loath in the past.. i lost so much juz to slim down.. like the show, my relationship with friends n family and my own identity.. luckily, i wasnt tat extreme as i used to be and tis movie served as a reminded to me not to forget my past.. not to judge by the cover on others, like i was used to.. even till now, tis fear still resides in me..

lastly, the part tat the female lead "forsake" her senile dad for her new found fame reminded me of my sad family problem.. it was so similar to my grandfather incident, where he was abandoned by both his sons, which in turn my mum n dad hav to take care of him.. suddenly, tis show touched me so much as it seems to reflect my life..

oh well, hav to book in later juz to book out tmr.. watching spiderman3 on tue.. hope it met the expectation of all..