finally, back to blogging again.. mia for very long.. mainly due to being lazy (no wonder ppl always mentioned tat maintaining one is troublesome) alot of thoughts in my mind right now, n here to voice them down..


ORD LO!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep, i ord-ed on 10/11/2008.. good bye to ns, camps, booking in n out, soc, super short haircut, drills, turnouts, random endless route marches, tucked-in shirt, blah blah blah.. looking back, 2 these 2 yrs sure passed pretty quickly n faster than i thought.. life juz seemed so tough when u ar serving it but juz a breeze once u ar over with it.. as if a spell is cast over u and lifted on 101108.. life in ns seemed like a mirage, so real yet hazy...

yes, i complained many many times over n over againto many ppl abt ns (esp btw me n cj, yak yak yak) abt how tough n impossible to undergo tis period of "dark times" sry to anyone who hav to endure my storytelling sessions even though u ar not interested.. haha.. tis applies very well for the female counterparts out dere.. i cant hide the fact tat now whenever we guys gather together, there ar only the standard few topics we discuss : 1) outfields 2) tekan-ing sessions 3) saf rations (haha, esp combat rations) 4) guard duties 5) units 6) ocs n csms 7) and more tekan-ing sessions.. too many of the female friends could relate to our conversation n many many apologies for tat.. to think that i used to believe tat such a thing would not happen, when we hav lots of tat in camp.. but ladies, please understand us.. tis is a stage where most of us guys never endured or been through before.. so it was really an eyeopener for us.. never did we undergo such harsh trainings or discipline before (other than the naggings from our mums) it also never occur to me tat whenever we guys come together, topics on ns juz come to us naturally, even time to time we promised the girls tat we would not bring it up.. oops..

lots of events cramped within the last six months of my ns service.. n yet i used to believe my instructors tat tis period would the sweetest phase of my ns tour.. well, i do hav to say it is true to a certain extent.. its a fact that we did much lesser trainings compared to the pass one yr.. but never did we believe tat it was juz refering to outfields.. ever since our "victorious" return from atec, thailand, n completion of uc (unharmed combat), we hav been pretty busy with trainings for saf n ndp rehearsals.. will move on the ndp since the saf day have been touch on in the previous post..

what ndp left in me was a pretty hazy one.. but i could grantee for sure is tat i was one of the many proud singaporeans on tat day itself... i seriously believe not many gotten the chance to be personally involved in ndp parade section, let alone as part of both the guard of honor n best combat unit at the same time.. yes, drill trainings were difficult.. not physically, but more on the mental side tis time compared to saf day since we do not need to stay in the parade as long.. yet i wouldt dare say tat ndp will be any easier anyway.. probably due to the fact tat ndp is being catered n broadcasted to a much larger viewers compared to saf day itself.. in addition, ndp been broacasted worldwide, with the world watching at us.. yes, every single one of us to be exact.. well, trainings were twice a weeks, without excluding saf day ones too before saf day over.. though many hours spent coming together for training, the only actual time spent for drills was very little.. parade was only part of the national day celebration, not including performances n shows.. so most of the time were spent waiting n waiting.. n u know, tis was the most sinful part of the whole ndp thing.. imagine urself with nothing much to do, sitting around with ur fellow mates (whom u get to see almost everyday of ur life, tat time) n tons of kids from various uniform groups screaming endless cheers (main culprits were gb n girl's guides) wad make thing worse when u ar in this situation, is tat u hav many food sponsors supplying free snacks n bites for grabbing.. i could not remember how many countless time where i promised tat i would not take another share after im done with mine, to be appeared q-ing up in the line waiting for another round.. damn.. old chang kee, milo, mr bean, pizza's hut, kfc, etc.. damn..

still, i hav to give compliments to many various groups involved in ndp for making it such a success.. ndu, for challenging us to see which marching contingent is a better one.. the logistic part (who ever u ar) for managing such a large scale project n ppl.. be it food, transport, holding ground etc, u guys ar awesome (esp in handling the public, kids included) n i hav to admit, it almost equally as shag as our outfield training.. the black knights, for stealing the limelight of the show.. was wonderful, with high risk moves.. the red lions, for bringing back memories of our airborne jumps, when these jumpers were used to be our instructors.. n finally *drum roll* the irritating uniform grps sitting directly opposite us in the holding area for their wonderful n seemly endless cheers.. without u, the holding area will be juz too peaceful for us to handle.. haha, talking abt uniform grp, there is one particular uniform grp i wan to sympatise, which is the scouts.. it seemed tat the more senior boys will get to wear red bert compared to the green one (if i remember correctly) of the junior boys.. sadly, these seniors juz always ended up becoming our mockery with the berets.. sorry, but i believe u didt not walk ur ass off to get tat (: wad really caught us laughing is tat even the security guards of the suntec wore red berets.. well, no problem with soc (special operation command ) elite police unit wearing tat.. but hello?? SECURITY GUARD as well?? well.. u might say that we ar boastful or so, but please, it took us such a hard time to obtain the right to put that piece of red wool head-dress on head.. where scout boys n mr security could juz obtained them without much challenge.. would u even understand the value, the blood n soul, the pride we put into the red beret n don it on our head after 9 months of harsh trainings and it doesnt end with tat..

on the actual ndp day itself, i would die tat i almost got wiped off the surface of the earth.. my no 1 kept giving me problem.. the collar badge keeping dropping, juz cant seemed to be tapped down.. shoulder emblem nearly dropped off as it was not sercure properly.. n worse still, nearly MISFIRE due to rounds stuck in chamber.. OH MY GOSH.. i nearly ko-ed tat moment when i heard tat "tak" sound during the second round of joy of fire (cant remember the spelling of the orginal name, foo de joie if im not wrong, french i think) lots of things went through my mind: did my collar badge drop? my shoulder emblem still on my shoulder?? will i hook off the front guy's beret like i did few training rehearsals ago??? should i fire the next round???? why am i even here????? ha, my mind juz ran amok.. well, i calmed down.. the command for the next drill was given.. hormat.. damn, rifle raised to the shoulder.. should i fire?? will it go off?? den i did one of the craziest thing ever.. well, it not like i didt do much before in life, juz tat army made it a routine.. i slowly raised my left thumb from the pistol grip to the safety button n tried to put to safe.. damn it juz wun go in, caused the round was stucked, plus i cocked the rifle again when the cocking of rifle command was given.. meaning double feeding!!?? now two rounds in the chamber.. i remember tat alvan was laughing from my back.. obviously he saw the whole thign.. hell, how could such thing even happen at such a time.. if i misfired, not only the whole public will focus on me, mr president n the whole parliment will get to know who is corporal 1st class lee zhao qi tat day..well, i didt not hav the honor tat day..

after ndp was the 21km ahm.. the very 1st time i ran tat far in a single attempt.. well, marching was long over that mark, but running 21km was my very 1st attempt..pretty challenging, esp when im not a long distance runner.. blamed it on the many tranings tat the battalion gave, i managed to finish it without much problem and after effect days after.. running 21km was a whole new experience compared to marching.. likewise, u hav to keep talk to urself to keep urself moving.. but as for running, i realised there is really no such thing as pacer.. different ppl run at different pace.. once u run at a pace tat not within ur comfortable range, u ar actually not maximising ur running capacity n energy.. so, all those kind pacers out there, thank you for being such a nice guy for making the effort the push the weaker ones on n cheering for them even though they rarely registered in their minds during their runs..

we had one day rest after the ahm to the begin of our next n last training phase.. details could not be released due to military secrets but after the local traning phase was the the foreign training phase at thailand.. was so hoping tat it would be cancelled due to the instability of thailand.. who would wan to go outfield after weeks of lying down on bed in bunk waiting for ur meals n book out daily.. nevertheless, got through the horrible part of the phase, n soon found tat i was in the middle of R&R n again on the plane back to singapore..

and next, the preparation for ord parade!!!! after we returned from thailand, we go less than one week to prep for ord parade.. time was tight, but fun n enjoyable.. laugher was everywhere, except when rsm appeared.. the officers and men came one for tis occasion as we embarked the very last phase of our ns tour.. finally when 241008 came, n we donned on the no 1 attire smartly for the one last time and realised tat after the parade we were free men juz like two years ago.. the whole family came down.. it was very nice of xin too to come down n attend the parade.. the cermonial day juz ended as quickly as it began..

one week later, we gathered together again for the company's ord dinner organised by lester.. nearly everyone brought their dates except the few miserable us tat did not managed or bothered to find one.. dinner was light hearted n brought back warm memories n feelings.. juz when oc closed his speech on his personal experiences with the company during his tour did we realiseed tat everything was nearly over.. many photos were taken n hugs exchanged and even though not much words were expressed after tat, everyone seemed to under how each of us feel in the heart..

hey, but it still not over yet.. ord date itself was on 101108.. so we gathered together in camp one last time in no 4 as nsf to collect the very thing tat we hav been waiting for: the pink ic.. u know, after all these time u hav been yearning for this little card ever since u hand over to the military on enlistment date got into ur hand once again, u realised tat the past 2 yrs tat it was not the ic tat u truely wan, but the life of a freed man u hav lived before.. not tat army has tied us down from freedom n rights, but shaped us to be appreciative of what we hav in time of peace.. ns trained us not to take things for granted, n in these case the peace of our beloved nation.. nothing is free in the world.. everything comes with a price, n tat applies for our freedom to be called a singaporean.. recent mumbai incident once again proved ta this so called peace that we boldly took for granted could be easily be taken from us in a blink of eye, be it u like it or not.. n it is granteed tat it will not be a pleasant experience, as we learned from past occupation n the fall of singapore's 1st victim to terrorism.. complacency will not n shall not be tolerated for such an incident to happen in singapore n i believed tat singapore would not be the same if it did.. juz like how we wished to return to the same life as we used to live before entering ns, singapore is taking her peace n stablility for granted by assuming tat we ar immuned to such attacks or economic crisises.. i believed my biggest lesson tat the ns had given to me is to live a whole new life, an improved one, as compared to the past in this ever-changing world tat constantly demanding us move forward.. n of course, ns in my case, has acheived its purpose..

tis post could only express a small part of wad im feeling or undergo tis past 2 yrs as a soldier.. as i stepped out of the camp tat day with a pink ic in my hand, i could not help but to think tat will i be ready to face a reality world tat is not as merciful as the army's harsh training.. few of us left with a heavy heart, while the rest, oblivious to the fact tat some of us might not get to meet again in future even though there are opportunities to come together for reservices, gloating abt the pink ic on the phone to friends tat are still in service.. yew ting chatted with me, n shared tat why was he feeling empty on the day itself instead of being excited n cheerful.. n we come to a common agreement tat we used to believe tat after we will still get to see each other after every book out, den to ord parade n dinner n finally ord date itself.. never did we expect tat the sudden emptiness on the ord day itself was so overwhelming.. yes, often we promised tat we will still continue to meet up despite how long hav pass.. however, looking back at my past, my pri n sec friends (n in fact, some of my jc friends which i knew so recent ago) seldom or never contacted one another again after graduation proved how ironic the promises could get..

until now, i still could not accept the fact tat im officially ord-ed.. i could not discribe the mixed feeling tat im going through now.. sort of a sweet yet bitter feeling though.. probably because the schedule had been very tight, esp the last half yr, tat time passes exceptional fast.. as if it was over in a blink of eye.. still, this chapter of life will always be a part of my heart, a name when i was once called zq lee


moving on, and never look back.. no time for self-pity for the world waits for no one