I've found a friend who died for me

Lessons from yesterday bible study and today sunday school mentioned abt staying optimistic.. Life is full of obstacles which prevent us from serving Lord and His Will..

Dream, Announce, Promise and Action.. These are the steps to overcome obstacles faced in life.. However, most of us usually stop at the most crucial step: Action.. Without action, nothing is done.. Even if u have the best dreams, made the most convincing promise ever, but without action, all is futile.. If there is a will, there is a way.. The Lord will provide for He is the provider..

One example is the bind man Bartimaeus from Jericho.. (Mark 10: 46-52)He faced alot of odds: being blind, public pressure etc.. Despite all these, he remained optimistic and held on the faith that the Lord will heal him.. Eventually, the he was healed by the Lord due to his faith.. We should be like him.. Have a persistent heart and courage to reach out to the Lord.. Will we be able to do the same, like Bartimaeus to shout out even more to the Lord when the others asked him to remain quiet.. Will we succumb to pressure around us?

God's grace is sufficient for us all.. The Lord is always there for us.. Its only a matter of reaching out to Him.. Sometimes, a simple "save me", like what Peter called when he was sinking into the sea, will do.. We are so blinded by whats around us to even notice that Jesus is always just by our side for us.. Bible mentioned many examples that servants of Lord are prone to falling and weaknesses. David, a man after God, has alot of fear and pride in him during his reign as king of Isreal despite the fact that God had blessed n reassured him many times again n again.. Peter, full of confidence that he would not leave Jesus under all circumstances, denied Jesus thrice before the rooster crowed.. Yet, the Lord still forgives them and blesses them many many times over.. The difference btw David, Peter vs Judas is the heart to repent..

Had a worship leader meeting today too.. The takeaway from this session is one of Pastor J fav quote: With great power comes great responsibilities.. A similar verse could be found in the Bible (Luke 12:48) Lord gave us the abilities and talents to serve.. If we do not treasure them well n let them go to waste, He will take them away from us (Parable of the talents) God is concern about the hearts of those who serves Him and not with how much we can serve.. Being pleasing to God. One impt thing emphasized is not to serve when ur heart is not ready.. The Lord does not lack ppl serving Him.. Rebuild the relationship with God before serving Him again..

Had another session with Pastor J and Shelen today.. Consulted them abt my concerns abt her.. It has been a tough time during the past 2 weeks where we decided to cut down communication and contact.. I dunno whats her plan, feeling during this period.. It must be very hard on her too with so much on her mind.. Pastor J then shared with me abt the Ireland's boys.. Hat is a very important form of dressing in their culture.. And u usually dun see them without it.. So whenever they need to climb over a wall or barrier, they would throw their hats over and find all means to get over it.. Likewise, we should throw over hearts, worries over the wall and to the Lord.. only through this way, den we will be able to scale the obstacle and reach to the Lord.. They initially suggested that both of us to take this relationship survey to help us determined are we ready for a relationship which is pleasing to God.. but i turned down because i know our case is a one sided pursuit.. at times, i dunno what is she thinking.. but, i do know that she is chained down by her past, which is hard to let go.. I do love her deeply.. but this obsession has become an obstacle btw me and God.. so, im not gonna think abt it anymore.. Im going to just throw everything over to Lord so that i could be with Him.. Only when u entrust with Him, den u will be blessed many times over.. Maybe she is the one, maybe she is not.. But no matter what, i have absolute faith in the Lord in finding the girl of my heart desires who is pleasing to the Lord..

Something when i see couples around me, i do get envy of them.. Love is the gift that God gave us to share and received.. My sis and her bf, gare rern n shiling, william and meijing, jason n shelen, mum and dad..However, this gift is only perfect provided both are the willing parties of receiving and giving.. of cause, there are problems too when in a relationships.. but true love overcomes them all.. they are just trials from God to strengthen and pull them close to one another and God.. Singleness is too a trial from God.. I read it from Holding Hand, Holding Heart.. Most of us misunderstood that being single is a gift.. But no, God created us to be together, man n woman..

I know you are in great pain and you choose not to share because u have ur reason.. I thought that we would be a perfect couple together because we see things on the same tone, God-fearing and be able to confide and assure each other. I envisioned that we could be a wonderful pair because everyone who knows about this think so too.. Because i love u, care for u, im not going to be a burden to u any longer.. U have ur rights and i respect them.. we will stay as the awesome friends that we used to be before all this started.. I will still sms u messages of concern.. I will still be always a phone call away if u ever need someone to share ur worries or concern.. I will protect you from all the harms that come in your way.. I'm disappointed that things are going this way but not sad of my decision because i know that it will lower ur burdens and worries.. I hope my decision will make u a happier person.. I dread the idea of u tearing because of u being unable to be in a position to control anything due to the pasts and presents u cant let go.. I wish only the best for you.. This 2 weeks have made me realised my love for u is deeper that what i thought.. However, if the the time is not right, it will still be the same.. Of cause, i will still be waiting for ur answer and pray as usual, I wun give up.. But i'm not goona do anything to put u in a tough spot anymore.. I will set aside my deep feelings for u to the Lord so that it will at least help u be a happier person by a little. Ppl say that I'm dumb to let it go after trying so hard, but the think is I'm not even giving up, just that I'm totally entrusting to the Lord.. I'm much stronger that u think I am.. 21 years of hardship plus God made me strong.. Eventually, I might/might not move on.. But pls, if u ever realise ur feeling someday, pls let me know.. Maybe a simple sms or any form of hint will do.. i know u are not the kind who know how to express urself well and will find this hard.. But who knows I might still be waiting for u and harboring the fragile hope that day??

Because I love u too much, that's why I choose to let you go and set you free.. I dun give a damn about what the other say.. I could only entrust you to the Lord, who loves you even more than I do..

No one but God only knows.. It's all in His plan